Pema's wisdom is a wonderful fit! I love that you brought that into the conversation, so very relevant. "The stories we tell ourselves" have profound of influence. I guess that's part of the work inherent in taking a minute to breathe, and to reenter our own peace if it has been challenged, not just by the encounter but our thinking about the encounter. Thanks, Mitzi!
Laury, this post feels so timely to me as I work on being more aware of the present and taking a moment for breath. It's so hard if you're not accustomed to it, but when I manage to take that second between trigger and response it does make all the difference. <3
I love that, Alyson. We're definitely tracking. The training ground for me has been overexposure to what has felt like threatening conversations. Over a certain period of time my resilience, my tolerance level, became stringier and stringier. Standing in the line of fire, something I used to call love, has created stronger reactions inside of my body. I have to leave the conversation, or find a way to adapt. Since I'm a yes/and kind of girl, the pause just gives me time beside the best appropriate action for each circumstance in which I might feel.
uncomfortable. At least the right action for me at the time. (Can I seriously not edit my own comment so I have to skulk around in the reply bar to edit? Haha)
I did the same thing this morning. Accidentally wrote a reply to myself instead of someone else. Talk about needing to be more intentional, lol! I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
Yes. It just seems like being more intentional and thoughtful in every situation makes everything 100% better. And yet, I consistently fail to remember that. But, well, that's why it's a practice, right?
Thanks for your thoughts Laury. I’ve not read Duffy’s work but I’ve been influenced by Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron who offers quite similar wisdom. What she includes that I’ve found particularly helpful is a call, during the time of retreating and regrouping, to “drop the story line,” meaning the stories we tell ourselves about why that person is rolling her or his eyes. (She helped me discover that I can go from no story to full novel in .3 seconds!) Truth is the eye roll is hurtful by itself and that’s what I want to respond to, rather than react to the story I’ve written in my head (which likely has little to do with what’s actually going on). Anyway, thought I’d add Pema’s wisdom to the conversation.
Pema's wisdom is a wonderful fit! I love that you brought that into the conversation, so very relevant. "The stories we tell ourselves" have profound of influence. I guess that's part of the work inherent in taking a minute to breathe, and to reenter our own peace if it has been challenged, not just by the encounter but our thinking about the encounter. Thanks, Mitzi!
Laury, this post feels so timely to me as I work on being more aware of the present and taking a moment for breath. It's so hard if you're not accustomed to it, but when I manage to take that second between trigger and response it does make all the difference. <3
I love that, Alyson. We're definitely tracking. The training ground for me has been overexposure to what has felt like threatening conversations. Over a certain period of time my resilience, my tolerance level, became stringier and stringier. Standing in the line of fire, something I used to call love, has created stronger reactions inside of my body. I have to leave the conversation, or find a way to adapt. Since I'm a yes/and kind of girl, the pause just gives me time beside the best appropriate action for each circumstance in which I might feel.
uncomfortable. At least the right action for me at the time. (Can I seriously not edit my own comment so I have to skulk around in the reply bar to edit? Haha)
I did the same thing this morning. Accidentally wrote a reply to myself instead of someone else. Talk about needing to be more intentional, lol! I'm glad I'm not the only one :)
Yes. It just seems like being more intentional and thoughtful in every situation makes everything 100% better. And yet, I consistently fail to remember that. But, well, that's why it's a practice, right?
It's definitely a practice. Like turning down the speed on a treadmill...your footing is just more solid.
Thanks for your thoughts Laury. I’ve not read Duffy’s work but I’ve been influenced by Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron who offers quite similar wisdom. What she includes that I’ve found particularly helpful is a call, during the time of retreating and regrouping, to “drop the story line,” meaning the stories we tell ourselves about why that person is rolling her or his eyes. (She helped me discover that I can go from no story to full novel in .3 seconds!) Truth is the eye roll is hurtful by itself and that’s what I want to respond to, rather than react to the story I’ve written in my head (which likely has little to do with what’s actually going on). Anyway, thought I’d add Pema’s wisdom to the conversation.
Such a loving post. Your sense of calm stays with me, and your wisdom uplifts me, Laury. Thank you.
There's plenty to reflect on here. Thanks